The night before the night before, as it were. In a couple of days I will be going under the knife to (hopefully) correct skin cancer on my nose. Could be a simple case of a few layers of skin or, in my darker moods, I will be confined to a life of deformity.
The wind is howling outside right now, don’t know if another storm is coming in. Rain suits me right now. The cold, the bleakness, the emptiness – it seems to be reflecting me.
I have had a few nice conversations with friends these last couple of days, assuring me that everything will be okay, but we don’t really know do we? The doctor seems a nice enough fellow, no hand tremors that I could notice. (Must remember not to wear cologne on day of operation – no sneezing allowed, slips with the knife and all).
Great book recommendation to any and all who read this; Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road, by Neil Peart. Yes, that Neil Peart – the drummer from Rush. He’s an excellent writer (duh) and his story is very moving. He lost his only child in a car crash and ten months later lost his wife. The book is about his travels by motorcycle around North America as he nurtured his “little baby soul” back to life. I haven’t been down half the path that Neil has, yet I can identify a little with what he experienced. And as he is one of my influences, it was nice getting to know what he’s like away from the drum kit.
I’ve been asked if I’m afraid of the upcoming operation. The answer is no (see my post about fear earlier). I’ve decided that fear will not run (or ruin) my life anymore. Perhaps it’s time I nurture my own “little baby soul” back to life.
There’ll be no “before and after” pictures, but kind thoughts and crossed fingers are welcome. I’m taking a few days off after the procedure, hopefully all will go as planned. Who knows, maybe they’ll even make me better looking! (Ha). Oh, and the saying about “cutting off your nose to spite your face” is definitely out.
Cheers,
Rudezen
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